Feeling My Way in the Dark

When we are young, we often imagine the milestones to come.  We create different versions of what they might look like for us: a first kiss, going to college, being on our own, falling in love, getting our first real job, etc.  When we look back at our lives, these same milestones often come to…

Seriously, People Have Said This To Us, Vol. 2

Following is a list of statements that people have in some manner communicated to us in the year following the death of our Daughter.  Seriously. You both have had enough things that are out of your control. I am here when you are ready.  Whatever you need… Give yourselves some credit.   The love within your family…

The Terror of Knowing

When someone looks at me, they don’t see a woman who is screaming.  They don’t see a woman who wants to tear her skin off.  They don’t see a woman who is tortured by a single word, why?  I just look like a woman.  The pain I carry with me does not have an off switch. …

Worth It

I want to know what happened to my daughter. You can’t pretend you know what happened to my daughter, because I don’t know what happened to my daughter.   Stop pretending you know what happened.  And stop pretending it is ridiculous that I want to find out what happened.  My motivation is not hurt feelings.  It is…

It’s Not

It’s not self-indulgence. It’s not stubborness. It’s not grouchiness. It’s not selfishness. It’s not self-pity. It’s not over-reacting. It’s grief. My daughter died. Everything has changed. Forever. It doesn’t matter if you agree. It doesn’t matter if you understand. It doesn’t matter if you believe me. My daughter died. Everything has changed. Forever. It won’t…