How Do You Do That?

I gave birth to my twin baby girls in September of 2015.  Next month one of my girls will be two-years-old.  The other one will not. What am I supposed to do with that?   How am I supposed to breathe?  I feel like I will be torn in two between my love and my…

A Chronicle

This may seem completely obvious to everyone else, but it has only just become clear to me.  This blog has chronicled my experience becoming and being a mother, through IVF, the gift of twins, and the horror of child loss. It started as a way for me to get rid of all the pent-up residual…

An Unexpected Moment

This afternoon, after nap time, Elbow was having a hearty snack.   Cheese and crackers, blueberries and cherries, and a few olives, or as she says it “Ahvuz.”  As she was eating, I noticed a mourning dove walking around the deck outside the slider in our kitchen.  Elbow loves to see the birdies, so I…

Too Many Nevers

When my sweet Bug died on November 16, 2016, at 14-months-old, my husband and I lost our child.  Elbow lost her twin sister.  My parents lost their granddaughter.  My sister lost her niece.  And on and on and on and on.  For those of us who loved her, knew her, cherished her, the impact and reality of…