So I Will

I could cry until my eyes turn to dust.   I could scream until my voice turns to fire.   I could beat my fists against the wall until they bleed.   None of it would change anything.   My daughter would still be dead.   I could ache over how unfair this is for…

How Do You Do That?

I gave birth to my twin baby girls in September of 2015.  Next month one of my girls will be two-years-old.  The other one will not. What am I supposed to do with that?   How am I supposed to breathe?  I feel like I will be torn in two between my love and my…

I Dreamed a Dream

For the first time since I lost my sweet little baby girl, she came to see me in my dreams. The dream: I am laying in bed.  My eyes are closed.  I am at that place between sleep and awake.  My eyes are comfortably closed.  I can sense that the sun is up.  My hand…

Stop It!

Since we lost our daughter, I have had a knot in my stomach.  It’s always there.  Sometimes it tightens up.  Sometimes it relaxes a bit.  Sometimes it makes me feel like I am going to barf.   Sometimes I know why it tightens or makes me sick, sometimes I don’t.  But I always know it is there.…