I’m still here.

Despite all my fears and outrageous nightmares about meeting with the surgeon who operated on my daughter, I am still here.  It did not destroy me.  I am still breathing.  I am still coherent.  I can function.  A moment I was sure would tear me to shreds beyond repair, has not. So what did it…

The Physics of Fire – An Allegory.

The following is a work of fiction.  It is my attempt to stop these thoughts from swirling in my head, to halt the narrative I am continually creating in my mind.  The meeting I will be having tomorrow terrifies me.  So here is my swirling nightmare put into a context with which you might be…

My hands are already shaking.

He’s coming here.  He is coming to our house.  He’ll be sitting on our furniture.  He is coming because I asked him to.  As the date looms closer, my anxiety grows stronger and stronger. My hands tingle.  My head aches.  My stomach turns.  The surgeon who operated on my baby, the man who told me…

I don’t care.

I don’t care if you like me. I don’t care if you think I am smart. I don’t care if you think I am pretty. I don’t care if I make you uncomfortable.   I don’t care if I cry in front of you. I don’t care about your shit.  I really don’t. I don’t…

Before and After

Before: I was a loudmouth.  I was curious.  I was bold.  I loved arguing politics.  I sang karaoke with enthusiasm.  I attended a college that has a reputation for having fun, and I had fun.  I also graduated, went to grad school, and became a teacher.  I had confidence.  I didn’t mind the spotlight at all. Ever.…