I never thought I would be someone who would think this, but meditation is amazing. I always had the opinion that it was new age hippy dippy nonsense. I was a pretty firm believer in this opinion. Then my panic attacks started. As a result of years and years of the anxiety and stress that comes with infertility, my body started revolting against me by giving me the feeling I was going to die. A panic attack, although temporary, feels like the end of your life while it lasts. I literally thought I was dying every time it happened. So, one thing my doctor suggested to help me not only cope with the attacks themselves, but to get my overall anxiety under control was meditation. She referred me to some podcasts she had on her website with guided meditations. These were to help get me started. Since I was willing to do anything to make the attacks stop, I was very open to the idea. I can honestly say that after that first try, that first attempt at meditation, I was hooked.
I went home, laid in my bed comfortably, put on my head phones, and listened to the voice that guided me into deep and focused meditation. It wasn’t sleep. It was quiet. It was focusing on the present. It was ignoring the past and not worrying about the future. It was incredibly hard to do. But even the brief moments of serenity that I had during this first attempt can only be described as life changing. I knew that this would work for me. I knew it was helping me. I knew I felt better for doing it.
Inhaling peace and exhaling calm helped me literally breathe through panic attacks. It has been over a year now and when the thoughts, fears, doubts, questions, and random ideas are zooming through my head and it just won’t seem to stop (aka anxiety,) I start my meditation and immediately feel the release begin. It forces my body to let go of the tension. It guides my mind toward dropping all those silly ideas that keep it so busy. Afterward I feel like a new person. I feel like my mind is clear and my body refreshed.
IVF is incredibly stressful. I highly recommend to anyone who is going through it to give meditation a try. I feel like it saved my sanity. It has become a part of my regular routine and I am so thankful for that. If you are a skeptic, like I was, I can tell you it won’t work unless you open yourself to the experience. You can come up with all sorts of reasons why you don’t want to try it. I’m too busy. That stuff doesn’t work on me. I don’t believe in it. Even if you think it is new age hippy dippy nonsense, ask yourself this question, wouldn’t it feel good to quiet your mind for even a moment? Why not give it a try? You’ve got nothing to lose, except maybe some stress and anxiety.